It was
the first international journey of my life as I checked into the Indira Gandhi
International Airport, India in the fall of 2014. As the plane took off, I bid
adieu to my motherland, rising not just above ground, but also beyond
expectations, stereotypes and notions. A young married Muslim woman in hijab,
traveling overseas alone in the pursuit of higher education: beats all odds at
a time. After boarding the plane, I was fondly gazing at my henna tattooed
hands when the events leading to this journey came flashing across my eyes. The
flyer for the 21st Century Obama Singh Knowledge Initiative STEM-ER Program had
caught my attention while walking past the notice board in the university’s
corridor. Although appealing at first, I brushed this idea under the rug,
shaking my head at the sheer possibility of traveling abroad all by myself. I
hail from the third world nation, India, where Muslim women pursuing higher
education comprises a minority and married women in the boat apparently, a rare
commodity. Eventually, after deep pondering, the ambitious girl within me
prompted me to apply for the program. Somewhere behind my decision, was a zeal
to set example, to challenge stereotypes and to do something ‘out of the box’.
Taking baby steps, one at a time, I emerged out of the box, successfully making
it to the cohort of the four recipients of the prestigious fellowship. I was
anxious, yet excited to be part of the program that entailed conducting
research internship and completing two semesters for the M.Ed. degree at the
Ohio State University, USA. Being a married girl, I had chosen the road less
travelled by, specially, by women in my circles. As the news reached my town,
it garnered raised eyebrows and naive apprehensions: at the prospect of a
married woman aspiring for higher education abroad! In fact, not just my town
folks, but people at my university presumed that marriage would prove a hurdle
to my dedication and injustice to the program. My roots are from a culture
where tying the knot is often synonymous to bidding adieu to career, particularly
for women. Hence, the discouraging comments pouring forth from the society
around me were not unimaginable. Fortunately, in my case, I had the support of educated
parents, specially my mother, who supported my decision. So, a week post tying
the knot (Nikah) ceremony, I boarded the plane to USA in the quest of American
dream. Quite contrary to people’s expectations, I successfully wrapped up two
semesters with A-grade along with relevant research data for my thesis at the
Ohio State University. As to my dedication, I have vivid flashbacks of spending my birthday working in my research
building’s dark room on a chilly winter night. I embarked on the return journey
to India filled with fresh perspectives and renewed passion for education and
research. I was weaving plans to implement pedagogical strategies, conduct surveys
and publish research papers in my home university. By the end of 2017, I had
earned a doctorate in Biochemistry, Masters in Education and the badge of
motherhood. I am not sure if the cultural taboos or the stereotypical mindsets
have changed back home. However, my priorities, determination and vision had
changed since I undertook that journey. I am still proud of my decision to take
risk, challenge stereotype and achieve something deemed ‘crazy’. I agree with
Serena William’s message for women in the latest Nike advert, you are only
crazy until you do it. So do it, so that you can proudly share your story like
me one day.
To be or not to be : I read in English literature as a high schooler. Until I became a mother, albeit with an educational baggage, so to say. Since then my mind has been grappling with a new dogma of millennial feminist generation: to work or not to work . I am an Indian Muslim woman living presently in America with my husband and baby daughter. People in this part of the free world value education and those in pursuit of education. Therefore, I am often at the receiving end of admiration when people enquire about my educational background. "Oh, that is great! A PhD in Biochemistry and MEd in STEM. So, are you working?" Just as I am about to feel happy, my jaw drops and I shake my head. "That is an honest question though, but not right now!" I end the conversation on a humorous note by pointing towards my 11 months old daughter. But as I come home and put my daughter to bed, I can't help but wonder if people really understood why some mothers can't or do...
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